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Ron Berry - Surrealistic Humorist - Insanity Inc

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For the holidays I have a very special gift available!! Purchase and read how Christmas gets saved after global warming almost ruined it.
 
To quote a famous author, Janet Elaine Smith,
"You're guaranteed a "hoppy" holiday if you be a "deer" and "bear" to part with a "buck"
 
For only a dollar, I am selling the pdf version, complete with pictures (credit given to Billie Williams), of Christmas's Near Miss.
 
Contact me at: unwriter@yahoo.com and after you make the paypal payment of $1.00, I'll send you Chrismas's Near Miss. This will make great presents for you, your kids, grandkids, and everybody else. What a bargain!!

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I am a writer. I write funny. Wait a minute, that didn't come out right. I write humor. I'll post excerpts and even one or two completed pieces over time. There will be links to my writer friends and co workers. Visit them also.
 
Join me in my quest to get at least one smile a day from someone. If we can keep the world laughing, they have no choice but to stop fighting. Everything I write is g rated, I want the family to share the laughs.
 
So, grab your favorite non alcoholic drink (this is a family site), sit back and have a few laughs. One of my newest creations, Mr. Giggles, has his own set of pages.

I also write for a price. Uh, that didn't come out right. I will write articles and humorous essays per request. Drop me a line with what you need and we will discuss compensation at that time.
 
Now ten dollars a word is a great rate, but unfortunately not practical. On a per article basis I'll charge a standard industry rate. For a continuous column we will discuss contract terms.

A Squirrely Troll Toll Bridge
 
Well, what happened was, I was tooling along, heading for word mage when all of a sudden this bridge appeared out of nowhere! I didn't know what to do. I had three choices, I could cross the bridge, I could go under it, or I could turn around and retrace my steps. So I just sat down, right next to the tree there and said, "Nuts!" Turns out I was right, it was a walnut tree. I gathered a few up and started cracking them open when I was immediately surrounded by a gang of squirrels.
 
Now that was scary because they had on these leather coats and some tattoes (and if you've never seen a leather wearing, tattoed squirrel, you're lucky!). They didn't do anything and seemed amazed that I could actually open those walnuts. Pretty soon the king of the squirrels joined us. He brought his entourage pushing this huge (to him) cup, and a whopper of a carafe. He asked me to join him in a conflab about the nuts and the bridge.
 
Well, it turns out that one of their own had crossed that bridge but took a very long time returning. The problem was that it was free to go across from this side, but it was a troll toll bridge and he had left his billfold at home. after finding work on the othe side, he earned enough for the toll. I was asked to see if I could get rid of that toll part of the bridge.
 
I negotiated a deal with the trolls so now the toll is gone and we can all cross the bridge.